She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
