i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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