My hand turned me down
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
