He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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