Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
