Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just high enough for therapy.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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