hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
