Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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