I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
