i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
