Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
