There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
