Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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