just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
