The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
