Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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