During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
