you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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