I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize