just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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