Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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