Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
