It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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