another moral hangover. fuck.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
