At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
