Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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