honey bunches of taint.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
