hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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