I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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