I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
