The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
