you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize