i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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