tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize