he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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