you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
