Don't you send me to vm
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
