im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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