i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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