Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
