I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize