yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
