ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
