I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
