yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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