Duck Duck Cougar?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
