My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
