can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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