He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
