ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
