A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
