Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
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