apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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