I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
