you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
