I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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