I'm drive I can fine osifer
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
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