Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
